Man... More people disappearing. I-I'm really sorry, pal. I'm supposed to be investigating this stuff, but I haven't really figured out anything. Even when I was a cool detective guy all I did was throw people off of buildings.

...I don't know if it's a good idea for me to keep looking into this stuff, pal. I, um. I hate to quit, but... I think you guys might get more answers if someone besides me takes a crack at it.

It was fun pretending to be all cool and stuff during the personality switch, but I've been thinking, and uh... That's exactly what it was, pal. A personality switch. That cool, tough detective guy... He was, y'know, the exact opposite of me. I'm gonna go back to sweeping and stuff, so can you guys... have someone else try to solve the mystery? Someone better than me? I mean... They can't be that hard to find, right, pal?

[private, unhackable]

...Mr. Edgeworth's name is off the board.

Was it... Did I...

Did the island take him... because of me?

Tags: angstshoe, noooo
Current Mood: shocked

Heh, y'know, now that I realize I didn't kill anyone, I guess this was kinda fun! I wish all of the events made me all cool and stuff like that. I even got this cool gun, pal. It's a little scary having it around, but with all the crazy people running around, I guess I should hang on to it...

Anyone know what's going on with Samus, pal? That was... a little weird...

Miss Franziska, Miss Franziska! Guess what!? A few things. First off, I remembered something! We used to work together! And you used to hit me a lot. And the reason we worked together was... was...

I used to be a detective, pal! That must be why I turned into one during the switch! Not sure why I was narrating, though. How cool is that, pal!? Maybe I chased bad guys around and got into gunfights! Pow pow, pow pow- oh, maybe I shouldn't wave this thing around.

[filtered to Franziska]

Um. Sir? Did you... tell me to write a book or something? There's a half-finished one in my room. It's dedicated to "Franny". Maybe you know what it means?

Tags: franziska, gun, kinda cool
Current Mood: excited

...

IPGHFIUGYGMS

JDGUDIN AGYVYUFG RGYEIGRYIUVS

GUDGOMREYIYGRIT!%&#*(^$^GL*$&@GNDJKD

He jumped off a building, pal!?!? I-I gotta find out if that guy's okay! A-And this- is this a gun, pal?! D-Did I kill someone!? I swear I didn't do it pal I-I it was the island I was framed it was an accident OH GOD HELP ME MR. WRIGHT

Tags: back to normal, oh shit, this is not good this is not good
Current Mood: shocked

It was 2:30 in the morning and the rain was pounding on the roof, which didn't do wonders for my throbbing skull. Those goons thought they'd had me in that back alley- a quick word from Precious was enough to change their tunes, permanent-like. Nights like tonight reminded me why I liked Precious so much- she was a quick speaker, but her words had a way of sticking in the mind.

My name's Dick Gumshoe. I keep two magnums in my desk. One's a gun, and I keep her loaded. The other's a scotch, and it keeps me loaded. I kicked back another shot, hoping to ease the pain in my head with a little liquid courage. No matter how much I downed, though, I couldn't quite get the image of that little girl out of my head. Her father, or boyfriend, or something- a Mr. Wright. He'd disappeared into thin air. He wasn't the first.

I'd been walking this beat for a long, long time, and I hadn't seen anything quite like this. It wasn't enough that Scottie had beamed us down the wrong part of the rabbit hole- they'd put a drunk monkey at the helm of the ship, and where we were headed next was anyone's guess.

As usual, Lady Luck was a fifty-cent whore, and I was fresh out of quarters.

Information gathering's never been my forte, except when it's in the universal language of gunshot wounds. I slid the bullets into Precious one by one, completing the Tao of Asskicking. I didn't know what I was up against here- some kind of magic force that teleported people to some hellhole and didn't even have the courtesy to leave a chalk outline behind. It was a deadly game of Russian Roulette, and I was putting the gun to my head without even knowing how many bullets were in the chambers.

Nevertheless, I had a loaded revolver and a bag full of anti-depressants that said they couldn't take me down.

[[Gumshoe is now a badass film noir detective. He is also constantly narrating out loud. Oh, and he has a gun, and is suddenly a perfect shot. Mafia thugs beware!]] 

Tags: dick gumshoe: ace detective, vocal narration ftw

I don't like this, pal. I don't like it one bit.

The whole thing's fishy. People just disappear? Out of nowhere? And we're supposed to just sit back and take it? I don't think so, pal!

I'm tired of watching people be sad, pal! It's time to do something about it. I'm already hot on the trail of the ding dong ditch guy- I recently discovered that in order to ring doorbells, he needs fingers, so we can rule out all the islanders without fingers. The list of suspects grows smaller!

Anyway, as long as I'm working this case, I'm going to start investigating what's happening to the people who disappear. Does anyone remember where they saw Mr. Wright and Ms. Mia last?

[private, hackable]

Mr. Edgeworth... I hope you aren't next.

Tags: go go gadget gumshoe, i should get paid for this, on the case
Current Mood: determined

Gah, what's going on, pal? Everyone's freaking out and all the little kids are suddenly really mean. Meaner, anyway. I don't get it.

GHKFJGHRGUGWAITASECONDPAL. This is probably the work of the same guy who Miss Franziska asked me to hunt down! The doorbell guy! 

You just wait, pal! I'm gonna catch that dastardly criminal if it's the last thing I do!

This is a travesty! 

Has anyone seen a brown overcoat anywhere, pal? It's kinda dirty, but filled with affection. And my soul and identity were in it, pal! Also some gum!

I was wearing it when I first showed up here, so, so, it feels like a part of me. Like a little piece of home. And now it's gone! I had it the other day... But I just took it off to go to sleep, and I woke up, and it was gone, pal! What if it left me because I mistreated it? Or found a nice young fleece jacket to run off with? Or, or...

Gah! What if someone stole it, pal!? It was probably those melons! I knew breaking one was a bad idea- now they're out to get me! What am I gonna do, pal!?

Tags: i am now dead inside, missing coat, stupid melons
Current Mood: shocked

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!!!

[[OOC: Gumshoe was cleaning and attempted to test the rubber-ness by flinging himself at one wall on the end of a rectangular hallway. He is currently stuck bouncing between both ends of the hall.]]

Tags: help me out pal, ow my head, this was a bad idea
Current Location: bouncy hell
Current Mood: distressed
Current Music: screaming

 THE MACHINES SPIT FOOD, PAL.

I'm in heaven.

Memory is totally overrated, pal. Let's stay here forever.

Tags: food, i fucking love this place, magic, vending machines

I got a job, pal! I'm a janitor now! It might sound unglamorous, but I get paid ten whole bucks an hour, pal! I'm rich!

It's too bad my application for mail stripper was turned down, though. I mean, how hard is it to remove stamps from letters?

Anyway, I still don't have a date for this ball thing, and I can't starve for a whole week, pal! I know I might look tough, but I've got the heart of a romantic! My fragile feelings are being torn asunder, pal! I wonder if any girls are still looking for a date...

Tags: got a job, lonely gummy is lonely, so totally rich